Dec 14 2008
MEAT: It’s What’s For Dinner
Okay, once and for all, let me make this absolutely clear:
I am a carnivore!!! I eat meat!
Thank you very much for the salad you brought me. I enjoyed it. It was very nice, but I’m not a rabbit. Now when’s dinner?
Look, I am not that hard to please. In fact, I’m downright basic. Just bring me a cooked, dead animal on my plate, and I’m happy.
Don’t threaten me with the cat, because I’ll take you up on that offer.
You don’t have to tell me again what hot dogs are made of. I’m fully aware, and it works for me.
No, put the Spam away. It’s not meat. I don’t care what the can says.
Now, why are you mad at me?? What happened? I told you I liked the salad. And the noodle stuff. I liked that too. Really. I love your cooking and…uhm…plant mixing…salad…whatever…making. I always have. You know that. Now, how about dinner and–
No, wait!! Come back! **SLAM**
Crap. How the heck do you open these stupid Spam cans, anyway? I’m probably going to cut myself again.
And it’s all your fault!! I hope you’re happy! **mumble** **mumble** **mumble**
Found on Venus Angell’s site, FAPIPO.
There’s plenty of room for all God’s creatures.
Right next to the mashed potatoes.
~Saskatoon
Lesson Learned:
Eat the stupid salad and go find something else later.
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We were trying to be vegetarian for a week and the faces my poor husband was making at every meal - even the ones we liked…Had to give it up.
@Autism Insights: That is so weird, because I just read your post on that about five minutes ago and I was thinking that I should leave a comment about mine. I decided not to, because I didn’t want you to think that I was just commenting to get you to come here. Suddenly, here you are anyway. I bet you smelled the meat.
I agree with you guys completely. My wife and oldest daughter are talking about juicing. Oh, dear.
By the way, thanks for coming by and commenting. I hope I’ll be hearing more from you soon.
LOL.. I swear sometimes I have to double check and make sure you aren’t “the man”. Don’t feel too left out, there are many like you in the world..
And enough of us women to drive ya all crazy!!
@Dan: Hey, Dan, welcome back. How are things on the girlfriend’s father front?
After many years of fruitless effort, I’ve given up on understanding them. My only goal now is equitable coexistence. (Notice that I didn’t say peaceful.) Clearly, they have something we want. The only trick is to have something to offer in return–whatever that may be this week. 
@nipsy: No, I’m not “the man.” Your guy has been safely insulated from my bad influences. Also, my wife would tell you that it’s us guys that are driving all you women crazy, not the other way around.
@Dan Brantley: I don’t think I could survive on a Neanderthal diet. I’m far too addicted to processed foods. I’ve gotta have my pizza and burritos and spaghetti and the like (washed down with beer, of course) though tonight I am making a whole chicken in the rotisserie. That’s about as Neanderthal as I get.
No problem on the EC recommendation. Good stuff is worth it. I finally got you faved on Blogerella too, but I had to fight with it to make it work.
*Sigh* And women can’t be carnivores?
Man, I love meat. And milk. And cheese. And eggs. I eat salad if I have to.
Oh, and Lee is the salad lover (though we always have meat, too) and does the cooking. Actually, as a stay at home dad, I bet he could sympathize with you heartily, because taking care of kids is not the sign of feminization, but of being man enough not to care what others think.
@stephanieebarr: See, no wonder you’re a rocket scientist.
@stephanieebarr: I have nothing against salad. It’s a nice PART of a good meal. In fact, I love a good Chicken Caesar Salad as a whole lunch. By the way, I’m also a stay at home dad. Maybe I should have mentioned that somewhere. (Amazing how you keep inspiring new posts in me.) Being a major part of my kid’s lives everyday is one of the best decisions I ever made.
You and Lee should get together and swap recipes
See, I knew you were a man’s man (even if you confuse the females in your life with ALL females). Everyone stereotypes people, you know, except me. But then, I’m not generally all that funny.
I don’t mind the stuff in salad, except lettuce, which I don’t generally care for. Romaine is OK, though. And vegetables are alright except I’m allergic to everything in the cabbage family (can only eat it cooked and, even then, not cabbage) and hate onions and peppers. But, other than that I’m good.
(OK, I suck, but I’ll eat ‘em even if I don’t like ‘em)
Everything you post sounds like a conversation between me and my fiance! I was a vegetarian for 11 years and now I do eat chicken and crab, but no beef or pork–we always have this convo lol.
For me, salad is an appetizer. Ya got me craving a double cheeseburger, fries and coke
@stephanieebarr: Hey, I was very careful on this post to limit the viewpoint to a single conversation with a specific person. This one is clean of stereotypes and generalizations–but I will be getting back to that very soon.
As for swapping recipes with Lee, ask him which he’d prefer, the chicken rub or the home-made salsa. Surprise, I cook quite well. 
@unfinishedrambler: Hey, thanks for stopping by and commenting. We’re a growing crowd here, but we’ve got room for more. Also, I’m glad to hear that your wife got better. That’s a tough bug to shake. Just for being new here today, I’m going to let you in on a secret. (Don’t tell stephanie.) I keep baggies full of diced ham in the freezer for just the kind of emergencies I mentioned in my post.
@madrigalblue: Hey, you made it back. Glad to see you again. Chicken and crab only, huh? Sounds like meat to me.
@Justin: Spoken like a true carnivore. However, I should warn you that a poster like that might give your little sister nightmares. So how big do you want it to be.
@Insanity Kim: Welcome, Kim. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Your blog is like an opposite perspective from mine. Quite a fun read, although you and stephanie seem to have a thing about bodily functions recently.
@jodapoet: I’m in, and supersize me. Let the arteries clog where they may.
Lee prefers the salsa. Want the world’s best lasagne? And it is. I slaver just thinking about it (it includes meat).
I love your writing style. Well…I’m sure we can still be friends even though I usually say “No meat, please.”
I say why can’t we have meat AND the salad? I like both, I’m an omnivore.
I have noticed men like meat in bigger quantities than women. And rarer….my brother-in-law and step-dad eat it barely cooked. I want mine medium well. There is nothing better than a good filet mignon and a baked potato smothered in butter and sour cream. MMMM! I’m getting hungry.
My niece (6) is a carnivore big time, always has been. Hates veggies. My nephew (3) eats anything you put on his plate and enjoys veggies a lot!
I don’t see why we can’t all just compromise and have meat and salad…. can’t we all just get along?
~Kelly
http://www.30somethingandsearching.today.com/
@stephanieebarr: Now I just have to get it to you, and stop slavering all over the keyboard. Their hard to clean.
@Aria’z Ink: Hey, welcome to the blog, and thanks for stopping by and commenting. You made me hungry for bacon now. Luckily, I have a whole slab of pepper-bacon in there. Good thing that I, like your soon to be late husband, don’t require an excuse to raid the fridge. (You have go to check her last post out folks.)
@Jacqueline: Hey, Jacqueline. I’m sure we can be friends here too. I’m not trying to convert anyone. I just hate when they try to convert me.
@Kelly: I’m all for that. It’s just that my wife occasionally tries to pass that off as a full meal. Personally, I’m not into the super-rare meat thing. I hate when I go to chew a bite and it turns into this 10-minute workout for my jaw.
@Kirsten: Hey, thanks for stopping by and commenting. I like that picture too. I was sitting there trying to figure out what kind of picture I could use for this post and had decided on the standard USDA beef parts picture. Then when I was in the middle of the post, I took it back down and edited it so that it had an eye bugged out like it was scared. It wasn’t until I had finished the post that I came up with the idea of identifying the hot dog parts and adding my site address. That required going back to the original picture, redoing all the text to be readable at the smaller size, and adding the other text and arrows. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until after I’d published the post that I realized I had forgotten to put the bugged-out, scared eye back. I may yet do that.
@Nooter: Hey, Nooter’s back. Good Nooter. Nice Nooter. No, put the bone back. No, not on the table! Oh, yuck. Now I have to go get a rag. Thank you Nooter.
Another funny post. I still remember my husband’s reaction when I went vegetarian a few years back. I am happy to say I am back to enjoying meat! By the way, I like your blog so much I reviewed it on my blog, http://reviewme.today.com/2008/12/15/man-in-the-moon/
Hello! I have nominated you for a lemonade award. Your blog is so entertaining! Check out my blog for additional details.
Hey man, I’m giving you the lemonade award.
http://thezspot.today.com/2008/12/15/lemonade-award/
I love meat too. When I was contemplating how to lose the preggo weight the fastest, I looked at my vegetarian sis-in-law’s fabulous body and thought, “Maybe I should give up meat…uh, nevermind, I’ll have to find another way”.
Davida
Meat simply rules. I could never be a vegetarian