Nov 27 2008
THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES: Stinging Men Everywhere
Let me set the stage first. Picture my wife and daughter ganging up on me and begging me to watch a movie. I’m trying to resist. My daughter is doing the big puppy eyes. My wife is giving me that look (Yeah, that one.) and motioning for me to sit REALLY close. You know I didn’t stand a chance. And for some reason, they kept repeating the fact that Dakota Fanning was in it as if that was the crucial piece of information that was going to sway me.
“Oh, you mean the screaming girl?” I asked.
“Yeah” they both answered, “isn’t she great?” This is one of those head-scratching moments when I wonder if I’m in the same conversation as the people I’m talking to.
“Uhm…yeah…great…uhm…screamer.”
“So, can we watch it?” they went on relentlessly. They knew I was caving when I agreed to look it up online. It was called The Secret Life of Bees. Here’s the official movie description:
THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES
Set in South Carolina in 1964, this is the tale of Lily Owens a 14 year-old girl who is haunted by the memory of her late mother. To escape her lonely life and troubled relationship with her father, Lily flees with Rosaleen, her caregiver and only friend, to a South Carolina town that holds the secret to her mother’s past. Taken in by the intelligent and independent Boatwright sisters, Lily finds solace in their mesmerizing world of beekeeping.
I didn’t make that up. It actually said “mesmerizing world of beekeeping.” I still don’t know how women read something like that and then want to actually pay to see it. Here’s how a guy reads that exact same description:
Tim Falletti, Check Em’ Out / Throw Em’ Out
Set in South Carolina in 1964, Dakota Fanning goes to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Anyway, I lost and had to watch it. That’s 110 minutes of my life gone. I would rather have sat through a couple of those old, elementary school filmstrips about real bees. It came across like something off of the All Men Are Evil Monsters channel. **cough** **cough** **Lifetime** **cough** **cough** (Sorry, something in my throat there.)
I’ll let Tim Faletti tell you what it’s rated:
Tim Falletti, Check Em’ Out / Throw Em’ Out
What’s it rated? PG-13 for being incredibly preachy and boring.
The movie starts with her killing her mother. The father she has to get away from is a horrible human being. The women who are the heroes of the story are a bizarre collection of people led by Queen Latifah who plays the only semi-normal person there. By the way, Dakota Fanning is now a teenager in this movie and gets her first movie kiss.
The only good thing that I can say about the entire movie is that Alicia Keys did a wonderful job playing comic relief. She plays a walking stick surrounded by people who can actually act. It’s truly hilarious. I want it played for me 24 hours a day…if I ever slip into a coma. If that doesn’t get me back up and out of the room, nothing ever will.
Lesson Learned:
Sometimes you just gotta take it and deal with it.
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Amazing post.
I like the part where you mentioned: My daughter is doing the big puppy eyes.
I can imagine that one, hehe!
Some of these chick flicks are too much to take.
But then as you said “Sometimes you just gotta take it and deal with it.”
Thanks for sharing.
@dratiffarid: Well, I don’t know about “amazing,” but I certainly appreciate the sentiment–especially from you. While my blog is just about sharing funny little stories, events, and thoughts from my life, yours is about sharing important health information with the public. Think of me as the magazine in your waiting room that keeps people occupied and relaxed before they move on to far more serious matters with you.
I read the book and loved it, but then again I am a woman that knows how to use my puppy eyes and “the look” LOL- you were a good sport for going!
@multitaskingmama: I’m cynically inclined to the opinion that every female of any age knows how to use the big puppy eyes and every woman knows how to do “the look.” And, by the way, welcome. I’m glad you stopped in, and I hope you come back soon.
@diesel: Wow, a visit from the MP! It’s a good thing I dusted recently and didn’t pull the tags off the mattress. But now that I’ve passed inspection, I’m glad you stopped by.
It’s pretty awesome that your wife likes movies like Iron Man. On a related note, my wife has more than once expressed a desire to wrap me in a metal suit, strap a rocket pack on, and personally light the fuse. That’s not entirely dissimilar, is it?
@TOPolk: It’s not all loss. I’m trading it in for a weekend of ALL MY MOVIES ONLY. I figure that a Vin Diesel marathon is adequate payback and should clear the house right out. Next stop, more beer.