Man In The Moon

Have you ever asked one of those questions that you ended up regretting, just wishing that you had never asked.  That’s what just happened to me.  I walked into the bathroom, and there were coffee filters on the counter by the toilet.

“Honey,” I said, “why are there coffee filters in the bathroom?”

And there it was…my question…I had asked it…out loud.  It was too late to take it back.

“Because we’re out of toilet paper,” she answered.

Now, I’m sure that you get this immediately, and you probably know exactly where this is going.  (Yep, that’s the place.)  But I didn’t get it, the concept being so entirely foreign to me that her answer seemed to make no sense.  So I reasked the question…and got the same answer.

Oh, if only I had dropped it there.  If only I had just shook my head, walked away, and attributed it all to some bizarre form of female nonsense.  Then I could still be blissfully free of the knowledge I must now carry to my grave.  But alas, no, dear reader, not I.  I jumped straight to a flippant response meant to show just how ridiculous I thought her answer to be.

“We’re out of milk too,” I said, “but I bet there aren’t any coffee filters in the fridge.”  That’s right, I really told her, huh?

“That’s because you can’t use a coffee filter in place of milk, silly.”

And that’s when I finally got it.  My world will never be the same.

“But…but…but,”  I stuttered helplessly.

“Exactly,” she replied.  Sadly, I was so confused at that moment that it took me a while to realize what she meant by that.

“But…but…but,” I continued, rather eloquently as my shattered mind tried to deal with this coffee sacrilege, “but MY coffee filters…”  That’s right, I actually said it in capital letters.  There I was laying claim to a trivial, nearly worthless item.  Don’t ask; I don’t have a clue.

“Don’t get all worked up,” she said, “we’re going to the store right now to grab some toilet paper.  I just left those in case there’s an emergency.”  And with that, she left.

Now I’m sitting here all alone trying to force myself to drink my cup of coffee.  It must be cold by now since I keep reaching for it and pulling back.  This is not going to be a good day.

Lesson Learned:

Never ask a question you don’t want an answer to.

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