Nov 22 2008
The Man In The Moon
Welcome to the Man In The Moon blog, my last hiding place from a female world of flowers, chick flicks, periods and puberty. You see, I’m a man who has spent an entire lifetime surrounded by females. I was raised with my sister by my mother alone, and now I’m married and have three beautiful daughters who all live at home. The daughters are aged eight, thirteen, and twenty-one and the wife’s age is never to be acknowledged in public. It’s enough hormones and emotions for any guy to drown in.
You’d think that all this long-term exposure would grant me some kind of insight or understanding of women, but alas…no. I find myself as baffled as ever by the behavior and foibles of females.
- How do women read the exact same movie description or watch the exact same preview I do and still say that it looks like a good movie when, in fact, it looks like a slow, torcherous way to blow an hour-and-a-half of your life?
- Why do they purposely and painfully pluck hairs no one else will ever notice?
- What woman-hating freak decided that high heels were a good idea, and why do women still wear them when they don’t have to?
- What the heck are they always smearing all over their faces?
I’m the Man In The Moon, and I hope you’ll join me here in the one place I can ask the questions that all men want to ask and say the things that all men want said. I have to have somewhere to save my last few shreds of male dignity. Welcome again.
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-laughs- Nice first post.
–> I’m sure some guys do this too.
–> I’m sure people notice stuff like armpit hair. T_T What hair are you talking about? Some people are extra hairy! I don’t like being hairy. T_T Bloody androgens!
–> Cos they make our legs look longer. -wry- And it gives you the high heel walk. But yes. It’s painful. Zooong.
–> Miracle gunk that helps us to look not too tired in pictures. XD
I hope I am not invading you man space, being a girl and all.
I can somewhat understand your pain. My step-dad always said he wanted a male dog, a big one, to counter all the female hormones. Even our cat was a girl. Now he has a son-in-law and grandson that help. Just wait, you will balance out one day!
Do your questions, 1) that goes both ways. you guys like movies that some of us find torture as well.
2) we pluck because WE see it and most women don’t feel pretty unless they feel good about themselves, so if it takes plucking a few hairs, so be it. Plus, other women DO notice if you have crazy stray eyebrow or upper lip hairs. Or as you get much older, like my 89 year old grandma, random hairs jutting out of all areas of the face - they can be an inch long too!
3) I don’t know who invented heels, but we wear them because a) they are pretty, b) they make our legs look good, c) depending on the heel, many men like them - a lot, d) some wear them to get a bit of height.
4) The smearing is a variety of things. Lotion to keep us soft. cream to reduce wrinkling. makeup to make us look prettier. makeup remover so as to not clog our pores. cleanser to wash the day off. toner to remove any further remnants of dirt and prepare our skin for the lotion.
Yes, man in the moon, we are very complex and complicated. We don’t always make sense to ourselves. But don’t feel bad, we don’t understand you guys either!
~Kelly
http://www.30somethingandsearching.today.com/
Wow, that was fast. I expected to struggle in anonymity for at least a day or two. So, thank you both so much for stopping by to comment.
One thing that you both brought up is that guys also watch movies that women don’t like. (Notice my political correctness in not referring to you as gals, ladies, or girls.) The difference is that it tends to be only younger guys that actually try to inflict their movies on the women in their life in the mistaken belief that it will foster closeness when, in fact, it fosters annoyance. Women, on the other hand, tend to carry a lifelong fantasy that they are just one more chick flick away from converting us. I think that my next post will have to be a woman’s guide on how to pick a movie for a guy.
@jennkei:
(Note to self: Look up “androgens.”)
Just for the record, the high heel walk is not that cute. The leg lengthening bit I understand, but how can it be worth the pain? Oh, and don’t tell my wife where you get your Miracle Gunk; I don’t need anymore expenses.
@Kelly:
Ahhhh, yes, Man Space, in the constellation Testosterone, far from the spiral nebula of Woman Space.
So, the plucking thing is because other women notice? Wow, you guys are like your own worst enemies.
We are neither complex nor complicated. Women never believe us when they ask what we’re thinking about and we tell them, “Nothing.” The thing is that 90% of the time, we mean that literally.
Well I’m fixin’ to make some enemy’s round here. you see I don’t understand all that face gunk either. The high heels, they rank right up there with flying in my book. Why????? If God wanted me to fly He’ld given me wings, If He wanted my feet to hurt I’ld been born with shoes on. LOL The plucking thing is vanity and I admit I do it occasionally if I think I must try to impress. I am a born and bred old fashioned country girl tryin to survive the modern life. I do have my “girlie” moments though.
Hay Ya MIM, glad to have ya here blogging… I grew up with three older sister and now i have one boy and three girls… talk about female overload!
OMG that about mood swings… and they say i’m crazy….
Chato
Wow, even more comments already. How incredibly encouraging.
@cathycouey: It’s a good thing that guys never succumb to vanity.
@chatobstewart: At least you have one boy in the house. Even our cat is female.
I had a boyfriend once that would spend an hour in front of the bathroom mirror and yes he WAS primping. LOL Guys are guilty too.
I grew up in a joint family. I have 2 elder sisters. And the other family had 3 girls. But then I was the youngest, so it was good in a way ..
. We bonded very well over the years and now I’m all by myself in another country for education, I do miss them.
@dratiffarid: That’s gotta be hard. I’m always complaining about the noise in the house and never being able to get anything done and it’s all girl stuff all the time, but whenever they’re away visiting, I don’t even know what to do with myself. Anyway, thanks for dropping by and making this an incredibly successful first post. I don’t know how I’ll ever live up to this with future posts, but I’m sure gonna try.
Once again, LOVE your style! We seem to stem from the same ilk (although I am newer at this and may not have been as personal as you yet).
Keep it up, I am looking forward to reading more
sincerely,
onmymind.today.com
Wow, somehow, these comments way back here on my first post slipped by me. I apologize to both of you.
@mandymcintyre: I never thanked you for your nice comments back here. I’m glad you came back later.
@gord: Sorry I didn’t notice this comment sooner. We apparently share more than just the same preference for a user name. I just finished writing my newest post (Heisenberg Uncertainty Blogger) about blogging and why I haven’t been here for the last ten days, and now I’ve found your post entitled “What I’ve learned from blogging” that lists some similar reasons for why you blog as well. I would have left a comment there, but you have to sign up for a Windows Live account to do so.